


selfish

by cuccnugg



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Season 4 Spoilers, thAT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE ;))), wow can you feel the hamilton vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 04:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12357117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuccnugg/pseuds/cuccnugg
Summary: Lance knows he's selfish, but he can't help it.





	selfish

**Author's Note:**

> wow this is my first finished fic out of fourteen oof  
> also seaso n four fuckigni shook me and im sad
> 
> i wrote this without my glasses and my eyesight is really bad so please feel free to point out mistakes in this fic
> 
> hope you enjoy this fic!! thank

No matter what the team and he had said: "If you think it's right, we won't stop you,", Lance can't help but feel that he wants to stop Keith from leaving Voltron to work with the Blades.

Lance knows he's selfish.

But who can blame him?

"Who will I make fun of?" he had questioned solemnly with subtlety as his goodbye to Keith.

He knows over the course of Keith being the Black Paladin that he had been his impulse control, and hopes that his wishful words would convince Keith to come back.

But Keith isn't the Black Paladin anymore.

Lance isn't his stability anymore.

And he hates knowing that.

He wants to be Keith's everything immediately. Rival, best friend, lover.

He can simply turn on the communications system and talk to Keith, but he longs for physical touch.

But Keith is always so busy now that he's working with the Blades of Marmora, he doesn't want to bother him by subtly pestering his ex-comrade to come back.

But he knows Keith would never think to turn on a comm and talk to him, one-to-one, in his free time.

Lance doesn't like that, and knows that he's selfish.

He feels like he's nothing to Keith, and doesn't like knowing that.

He knows that he's selfish.

Lance's mind transcends into his fondest memories with Keith.

Every moment.

From their rivalry at the Garrison, to the time they found Shiro on a Galra escape cruise, to the time they crashed their lions into the sandy ground out of rivalry, to the time they prevented a fleet of Galra ships from attacking Voltron together, to the time they were stuck together in the elevator to the Castle's pool back to back, to the time where he snapped Keith out of his consensus and reminded him of his position as their leader, to the time where Keith reassured him that he was useful, to the team's goodbye hug to Keith. There's so much, yet so little that he can remember. Lance even misses Keith's brooding demeanour. It's such a fantasy that he wants to believe it's real. But seeing Keith's status now, ex-paladin of Voltron and now one of the Blades, the memories seem like figments of an long overdue dream.

He despises it.

Grabbing the video game controller, and inserting the Killerbot Phantasm 2 disc into his console, Lance wants to stay mad at Keith by thinking he's the game's boss. To appease his feelings by using fantasy Keith, who's causing his sorrow, as a temporary virtual punching bag.

He presses onto multiple controls, as his avatars swing and swing at the boss. At Keith.

For causing me to miss you, for causing me to hate you, for causing me to love you.

Seeing Keith's health points decline steadily, he feels the least bit relieved, and continues to swing at him. Pelting him with his equal sorrow and love.

And selfishness.

Call him a sadist, but this was the only way he could stay sane as an individual; as one of five heroes saving the entire universe.

Keith's health points decline, and decline, and decline. But Keith retaliates and swings at his little virtual characters. 

It is a reminder of why he loves him.

Keith never gives up despite his predicament and continues to be resilient and fight back. Nothing can stop him. 

Focusing once again on the game, Keith is finally defeated and another boss appears.

Lance is not yet satisfied, and keeps on fighting. 

He's selfish.

But Keith only gets stronger and stronger.

Another reminder of why he loves him.

Each time Keith is vulnerable and breaks down, he retains his resilience but with his strength, he gets stronger and stronger, upgrading his facade of armour.

But Lance still isn't satisfied.

He's oh, so selfish.

One more boss.

One more Keith.

However, the designers of this game decided to switch this boss up by having this boss have a shield every three seconds for four seconds, Lance realises, and after those four seconds it fires a mega laser cannon that you have to evade.

A reminder of why he loves Keith.

Sometimes Keith lets his guard down and allows Lance to step into his circle, allowing him to talk to him about his feelings. Once he's okay, he gets back up on his feet and puts on his shield of armour, and begins to set Lance's heart on fire time and again.

He's a tiny bit more satisfied, but not quite.

He wants all of what he loves about Keith and Keith to himself. He wants his utter love. All to himself.

He's selfish.

Lance is intent on the game and gives his all to beat Keith into a pulp.

It works.

But he wonders why he still isn't satisfied.

The screen turns black and Lance puts down his controller with a slam.

He wants to take a break.

I'm still here, a voice echoes in his mind.

Lance recognises that voice.

Blue.

His blue eyes crinkle and light up with ecstasy, and Lance laughs joyously and makes his way to Blue's hangar.

Once there, he gives Blue a hug that he hasn't been able to after two months. A hug that Blue shoved away, because she felt that Lance had now matured enough to pilot Red.

"I thought you didn't love me anymore, but you're still there!" he exclaims, tears welling up in his eyes.

The former second Blue paladin climbs into Blue, and plops down on the pilot's seat in the cockpit. It is reminiscent of the adventures he's had witj blue, but the seat now feels foggy and unfamiliar. So does the whole cockpit.

He relishes this moment.

Feeling fatigue finally kick in, Lance lets his eyes droop and takes a nap in Blue. 

As long as he can stop thinking of Keith.

This was probably the hundredth time he'd slept in Blue after thinking of him.

~

"Hey, wake up," a voice says.

Lance is awoken from his slumber, and Blue's atmosphere is just so sleepy, but the voice is enough to energise him a hundred times more.

The voice was Keith's.

"Rise and shine, sweetheart," Keith says, a sly and flirtatious face on Blue's intercoms. God, is he charming along with his familiar and warming and comforting violet eyes. Lance even appreciates his stupid mullet.

Lance's eyes light up and he grins, gazing at the intercoms.

Lance is satisfied.

**Author's Note:**

> omae wa mou shindeiru


End file.
